Once there was a Dutchman
His name was Johnny Verbeck
He made the finest sausages and sauerkraut and speck.
He made the finest sausages that'll evermore be seen,
Till one day he invented a sausage makin machine.
Chorus:
Oh, Mr. Johnny Verbeck how could you be so mean,
I told you, you'd be sorry for inventin' that machine
now all the neighbors cats and dogs will nevermore be seen
For they'll be ground to sausages in Johnny Verbeck's machine.
One day a boy came walkin' a walkin' thru the door.
He bought a pound of sausages and laid them on the floor.
The boy began to whistle, He whistled up a tune.
And all the little sausages went dancin' round the room.
Chorus
One day the machine got busted the darn thing wouldn't go,
So Johnny Verbeck he climbed inside to see what made it so.
His wife she had a nightmare, went walkin' in her sleep
She gave the crank a heck of a yank and Johnny Verbeck was meat!
Chorus
Alternate Verses
One day tha meat inspector came knockin at tha door,
He said "I'll start a lookin or give me money more."
Well johnny got real angry an pushed him in tha meat,
he fired up the old machine an now theres more ta eat.
One day there was a shortage there was no meat ta grind,
So johnny he called up tha pound ta see what he could find.
They said were outta busness we keep tha strays no more,
But we'll send all our future finds directly to your door.